VORTEX OF LOVE

                                                  VORTEX OF LOVE

The day was muggy and a young sturdy boy with an American bully was strolling, enjoying the evening sun with the cool breez. It seemed he had all the time on this earth .He was relishing the moment stroking his companion, Rowdy’s ears. Soon his phone rang and looking at the name a strange expression came on his face, the natural smile vanished and his forehead creases with the lines of worry. His heart became the battleground and the war between self respect and love started. The phone kept ringing and the name Zara kept flashing, his self respect won the battle. He did not take her call but deep inside he got perturbed. The serene sea of emotions got disturbed by her single call. A few months back he was dying to receive her call. He looked at his hands the cuts he made to prove his love for her got healed but the scars left on his soul were there which no one could see.

No one could know how much he loved her, no one knew how bad he felt, no one was there during those dark hours when he found his world crumbling down and thoughts of suicide pervaded the thinking ground.

The memories flooded back and they planted him in August of  2015. He could see himself as bright and happy  as the morning sun, standing   elated, jubilant with eyes exuding confidence .Life was lovely for him as for every young heart blooming in the spring of one’s  life. Like most of the youngsters he used to spend time on social media. It was on facebook, he met Zara. Initially it was a normal friendly chat but he did not come to know when it became an addiction. His day became a long wait for night so that he could talk to Zara. Soon after they started video calls. Hemant found Zara soft as a morning dew on the rose at dawn. He got mesmerized by her beauty. Sometimes Zara fell asleep and he felt like protecting her as if she was a child. Hemant fell for her and his heart desired to encage her forever in the four walls of his heart and thoughts.

Hemant wanted to be with her forever so he worked hard day and night to get job, He competed hard and eventually got job in  Mumbai. On 29 November 2016 Hemant left for Mumbai.Hemant during his night duty used to chat and even video call to talk to Zara.The long distance was covered by mobile.

The days passed and after two years of chatting Zara proposed Hemant in July 2017.In August Hemant got leave for a week and he was to come home and he was super excited because he was to meet Zara for the first time. On 20 August it seemed to Hemant as if  the arms of the clock had stopped moving.. He took out his best shirt , red in colour and wore with ripped jeans. When the train stopped at the station, his heart started racing and started pounding hard, he saw Zara waiting for him. It was a matter of chance or love that Zara too was in red ,one piece dress. She giggled and said that she was plump. Hemant said that he was skinny. Physically they were diametrically opposite . Hemant believed that physique did not matter when the hearts and souls connect. In the car Hemant asked for permission to hug Zara. They both hugged and kissed for the first time. Hemant acted as a navigator for Zara and she drove Hemant to his home. A lovely home exuding warmth stood among the coconut trees. Hemant’s parents and elder brother were eagerly waiting for him. Hemant had already told about Zara in his family so they were not surprised to see her and welcomed her with open hearts and arms. All sat together and relished the favourite dishes of Hemant specially cooked by his mom. After some time Zara left. Hemant went to his room and changed his clothes and dropped himself on the bed and smiled and recollected the warmth of the first hug which he got from Zara and the moist lips on his cheek, the lingering fragrance of Zara seemed to have seeped in through the pores of his skin. He was extremely happy. He considered himself to be the luckiest person on this earth.

For all the seven days Zara came regularly driving 20 kms to meet Hemant at his home. They spent a family time together. Zara looked more like a family member, going to the kitchen and helping Maa  in cooking. Soon that day came when Hemant had to leave. Zara came to meet and begged Hemant not to go. She came and sat beside Hemant and held his hand in front of his parents and requested him with tears in her eyes not to go. Hemant felt helpless. He being a man of words could not get his leave extended. While leaving for Bombay ,his heart sank and saw blurred image of Zara through his teary eyes. Hemant left with the hope that Zara and he would talk on video call. The video calls continued . The days passed and it came September, Zara insisted that she would come to Bombay to celebrate Hemant’s birthday  in The Taj on 12 September. Hemant refused and told that he did not want her to spend money on him. On 12 Zara celebrtated his birthday on Video call.She surprised Hemant by sending Video in which his Mom, dad and brother wished him. Zara went to Hemant’s home to record wishes of Hemant’s family. This surprise moved Hemant a lot.

 One fine day for no reason Zara started avoiding Hemant. He used to call but her phone used to remain busy for hours. On asking she would say that she was talking to her cousins in the USA. Hemant could see through the things. He could see Zara wearing slips and could not digest an Indian girl talking to her cousins in night dress. He felt disgusted . Zara told that she was going to Mysore to visit her sister and Hemant should not call her and after coming back she would contact.

Hemant felt very bad , his night shifts became heavy with silence and time. Hemant found himself suffering from loneliness, he became so addicted to talking to Zara that he became monophobic.To  avoid  all this he talked to another girl for fun sake. Every day Hemant  would expect a call from Zara but in futile.During these days just to pull himself from the depression, he kept talking to the girl Muskaan and told her while chatting that her lips were lovely.

After some days Zara started calling Hemant and his happiness had no bounds.

Alas! She gave more tears than smiles. Her phone most of the times was busy , on asking Hemant would get the same answer. They kept talking. After a few days Zara said that she is getting engaged to Rahul. Hemant could not believe his ears and  collapsed, his whole world came down as if made of stack of cards. He sat on the floor screamed, clenched his teeth and cried whole night. On that day he thought of ending his life. He found himself in the dungeon of depression. The next day he gathered the broken pieces of his heart and the splinters hit him hard.Hemant wanted to talk to his love but Zara started avoiding. Hemant could see Zara online that was all the more hurting. Hemant started getting bouts of depression and one day he cut his hand and texted to Zara , Zara ‘s reaction was very cold and asked Hemant to send pics of his bleeding hand.  Hemant felt very bad and thought she could see his bleeding hand  what about the bleeding heart which bled profusely.

Hemant realized that he cannot see Zara moving away from his life so in order to save his relation , he resigned from the much desired job. His heart overpowered his head. He video called   Zara and in front of her he wrote his resignation. He pleaded Zara to save their relationship. He tried to express his love through his actions now, thinking his words have fallen on her deaf ear. He risked his life and career for her. It is true ,the thing for which we live is the one for which we die.

Hemant had only one thing in mind and that was to save his relationship. He left his job without serving notice and rushed back to his home. He met Zara and she could see how madly he was in love with her. She started fiddling with his phone whereas Hemant never dared to touch hers. Zara found the message “ Your lips are very curvy” which Hemant complimented to a girl with whom he flirted while Zara remained busy online with her so called cousin. Zara blamed Hemant that he cheated on her and did not listen to Hemant and broke off. Hemant went numb, he did not want to say anything. His head spinned and in a second his castle of dreams was razed by the rage of Zara. Hemant reached home , his parents were surprised to  see him because he came without intimation. His face, his red eyes spoke that something had terribly gone wrong. He concealed as much as he coud and just told his parents that he fought with Zara.

He bolted his room dropped himself on the bed and tears rolled down his cheeks, the floodgates were opened by the words of Zara “ you cheated on me” . It was the same room and the same bed when he dropped and smiled and considered himself to be the happiest person. The only difference was of time and emotions.He cried for whole day then he thought he should give one last try to save his relationship.

For whole night he painted quotes and wrote his heart out in the form of quotations. The number he could manage was fifty.In the morning he rushed to say her sorry and invited her the next day for the surprise.Zara agreed to come.

Hemant thanked God and got excited to plan out things for her. Hemant bought two T-shirts on one it was written Mr. and on the other Mrs. He was in the market buying stuff when he got a call from his Mom asking him to come because all of a sudden they had to go to their village.   Hemant  rushed back. His parents left.Hemant started decorating his room. He decorated it with red heart shaped balloons and the quotes he wrote for her. In the evening he ordered for a chocolate cake.

The night went in apprehension that will he be able to save his relation or not?

He prayed to God hundred times. The sun peeped out of the palm leaves, it was a lovely morning full of hope. At 11o’çlock Zara came. Hemant welcomed her with a broad smile and moist eyes. He took her to his room, Zara was overwhelmed with emotion to see how Hemant decorated the room for her. She hugged Hemant and planted a kiss on his cheek.Hemant’s heart started thudding. Then he gave her second surprise, he gave her the T-shirt with Mrs written on it and this brought smile on Zara’s face. She went to another room and changed it. By the time Hemant changed his T-shirt and wore the one  with Mr. written on it. Both of them were looking damn cute and took selfie. Hemant then brought in Zara’s favourite cake . It was day full of surprises for Zara. While eating they were teasing , there were only sounds of laughter. Zara was very happy. Suddenly Zara took Hemant’s face in her cupped hands and smooched. Their bodies melted in search of each other’s soul. They made love, the T-shirts of Mr & Mrs casted some spell and were staring hard at the lovebirds from the chair where they have been dropped. The lovers lived in the moment and relished exploring each other’s body. It seemed as if they have unearthed some hidden treasure. They exhausted themselves, laughed and started eating cake again which too was witness to their lovemaking. As they were alone in the house and had exhausted themselves, they planned to sleep for a while. Zara fell asleep in his arms and as he always wanted to protect her and love her, Hemant kissed her forehead and fell asleep.

Hemant was very happy to save his relationship, he really loved Zara, unfortunately after two days Zara started behaving whimsically and called up Hemant to tell that she is breaking up and can not continue with the relationship.

Hemant could not understand and was very upset and kept thinking what made Zara push him away. Zara started avoiding Hemant and whenever she talked she abused him; insulted him. Hemant begged for her love but to no avail. She just kept saying  that she is going to marry Rahul and Hemant cannot afford her.

Sometimes she would comment on Hemant’sfinancial status, sometimes on his physique. She belittled him so much that Hemant thought that they must meet for last time and part.When they met for the last time, Zara told that she is putting on weight day by day, Hemant teasing her asked if she was carrying his baby. To his shock she told that she would never like to have his baby.These last words seeped deep into Hemant’s heart and  he plunged into deep depression. He confined himself  to his bedroom and became insomaniac. He could not sleep at night. His eyes and heart only knew how to cry. He oozed out his pain in form of poems on a diary.  Then one fine day he saw Zara sitting with a mature person in a Café , Hemant took that man to be Rahul and texted Zara. To his utter shock he came to know that, there was no person named Rahul in Zara’s life.She was dating a mature, married man. Now, the picture was clear to Hemant , Zara was no more interested in Hemant. Hemant questioned himself that why did he cry for seven months for a girl who never loved him.  Hemant started  publishing his poems online in March and many follower showed faith in him. Some became very close friends and understood what he was undergoing and encouraged him to fight back.

Hemant who was dejected because he was rejected by his love, wiped off his tears and stood up to become a storm. He worked very hard, got a job again. His rejection made him dream of becoming a fitness model and now he has become one. A sturdy boy wearing black T-shirt with his biceps and chest oozing out looked at the phone, which kept ringing. Hemant moved on the road flanked by lush green trees.

Pangs of Separation

                                                                     Pangs of separation

Sameer woke up with chill running up and down his spine and beads of sweat on his face in the month of December.He became restless and could not catch his sleep. He moved upstairs and went to the terrace. He saw the moon shining against the dark sky like Mishti  against his dark loneliness. It was not for the first time that Sameer woke up in the middle of the night and could not sleep later on, it was almost a routine now. He sat there enveloped by the deathly silence only broken by the voice of Mishti ringing from the past. He found himself to be a child of ten years sitting on a school bench with Mishti sitting beside him both giggling and

sharing tiffin during the lunch hours. Yes Mishti , a girl as sweet as her name was, a childhood friend of Sameer. The years passed by the kids stepped into adolescence and they

did not come to know when  the love bug bit them. They realized when one of them took leave, it became difficult for the other to move through the day. After tenth though they took different roads but the roads ended with each other’s name. The boy being a good friend kept visiting Mishti’s home. One day Mishti’s parents went out of city and she called Sameer because she was feeling lonely. Sameer visited her in the evening. Mishti served french fries to him with coffee, they munched at french fries and talked about normal stuff. Finding themselves all alone at home, the young hearts brimming with desire to reach each other’s soul gave in and became helpless. They kissed each other and they for the first time enjoyed each other’s body. They felt their world complete when one saw one’s reflection in the eye of the other. Suddenly the racing hearts realized what  they have done. They tasted love for the first time and deep inside they were happy.  

Knowing each other’s body was like digging the hidden treasure. Yes Sameer and Mishti were as happy as they could be. They started making love whenever they found chance. Each time they made love, each time they wanted to have more of each other. They being too young took precautions because they were not mature to handle the responsibility of being parents. One day the common friends made a program for picnic Sameer and Mishti too went, unfortunately on the way back their car broke down, the friends took lift from passerby  and reached home but it being Sameer’s car, he planned to stay back with Mishti and informed at home that they are safe and would reach tomorrow. Sameer searched for a place to spend night and came to know that there was a forest guest house a kilometer away.Sameer locked the car and started walking with Mishti. The sun was dying in the arms of the sky turning it red with its blood. It was beautiful. Mishti and Sameer took a lot of selfies . They considered them to be the uncrowned king and queen of their own world. They enjoyed the silence of the dusk with the voice of the insects and the rustling of the leaves produced by the wisp of wind.

Finally they reached the forest guest house and requested the watchman to let them spend night there. The watchman first did not agree then Sameer greased his palm to allow them to spend the night there.

Sameer and Mishti just munched on the snacks which they carried along with them and drank tea prepared by the  watchman. They both relished the moon peeping at them behind the clouds. The silence was broken by  the noise of some moving car on the road. For about two hours Sameer and Mishthi sat outside in the lawn . Then it started raining so they went inside. The weather turned cold. Once again both the lovers were left alone in each other’s company. They lost themselves in each other. They made love , loved as much as they could. As it was not planned, they forgot to take precautions. Sameer realized it afterwards and then made Mishti take some pill  once they reached their city.

Sameer’s father got posted to Banglore and Sameer too shifted but both kept in touch.

They both had plan to marry each other and to reveal their relation at the right time but one day Mishti’s mother overheard what Mishti was talking to Sameer. She was shocked and told Mishti’s dad. Phone was taken away  from Mishti and Sameer’s dad too was warned to take care of Sameer. Sameer’s dad felt very embarrassed at his son’s act and thrashed Sameer.Mishti was not able to contact Sameer now as her mobile was taken away by her parents. Mishti and Sameer’s make believe world crumbled and streamed down their cheeks. Mishti stopped eating properly and  crawled back to her cocoon, she stopped laughing and talking to anyone. It seemed she was dragging her existence. One day Mishti was lost in her own thoughts when a bus hit her while crossing the road. She was rushed to the hospital where she was declared brought dead. Mishti and Sameer’s common friend told Sameer about this news. Sameer broke down and went into depression. His relation with his parents strained because he started holding them responsible for Mishti’s death.

Yes, the moon is still the same who peeped at them when Mishti and Sameer were together in that forest guesthouse but now only Sameer stands there in the silence of pitch dark night with the moon watching from above at his eyes brimmed with tears. Sameer lost in doubt thinks if he committed blunder by making Mishti take that pill. He feels remorseful and thinks may be he had their love sprouted in form of a young one.May be Mishti’s part was left behind with him to carry him through the ordeal called LIFE.

                                                           The Unsaid Words

One fine day Daisy was travelling back to home from her college in the college bus. An unknown number flashed on her phone, taking it to be of some student, she took the call. The person on the other end spoke in the British accent and asked her how she was doing? Daisy perplexed asked the name of the person, he asked her to guess. The details given by that person regarding the songs she liked made Daisy’s racing heart numb.  Soon excitement crossed the threshold and became anxiety. The person then made her traverse back to her unmarried life when she as an M.A student and gave tuition to this person named David.  

The memories flooded back . She explored the depths of her heart and dusted off the dust of the past to find she was there. Basking in the sun which filtered through the palm leaves and fell on her face. The dew drops glittered bright and saw her in the eye. She was alive and happy with the feeling that all loved her, the way she was. As Daisy travelled more into the recesses of her heart she found herself basking in the December sun, teaching David, “Old Man and the Sea.” She was a petite, nubile girl and David a naughty youngster. Whenever David found squirrel moving around, he pointed and said that Daisy was as cute as a squirrel. He named her Kutkut . For three years regularly David came for the classes at Daisy’s place. He became more like a family member.

Within a month Daisy’s marriage got fixed and she got busy with her shopping and excitement of new life. Finding Daisy busy, David receded and stopped coming for the classes. Daisy went to David’s home to invite him on her wedding but he was not there and invitation was accepted by his parents.

On the day of Daisy’s wedding all her friends and relatives came to bless her except David. In excitement of her new, colourful  life, David faded away. She forgot that David did not come to attend her wedding. Daisy got busy with her new life and now after ten years David called Daisy and told that he went to England after completing his graduation. The voice urged her, “I just want to see you once. I have visited  India for the first time since I left.” Daisy said, ” From where did you get my current number?” He said that he visited her parental home and struggled with the memory of her old dad to take him ten years back, when he regularly visited the family for three years. Reluctantly the old father parted with the phone number of Daisy who was married in some other city.

Strange questions raised their head in the mind of Daisy . The first was why David remembered each and everything about her whereas she never thought of that boy ever in these ten years. Second was why did he struggle so much to find her whereabouts and third was why he insisted to see her once. Daisy did not promise to meet him because she did not know whether she would be able to visit her parental home or not. Maybe David’s urge for meeting Daisy was strong or he prayed so long that Daisy got a chance to visit her parental home .

Daisy was excited to meet David as she would meet someone from her past. Around ten David came, a lad changed into a man, the naughty  smile was still there, which spread from ear to ear, the same small eyes got closed when he smiled. He had put on weight. The response which Daisy got was,” OMG! You have not gained an inch.” The instant reaction made Daisy bit uncomfortable and she blushed. With David came a little champ who looked at another child, Daisy’s son, Sidaq. David told that he got married in England and is a father of two daughters and a son. David walked down the memory lane repeated every detail, Daisy struggled to smile. A lump choked Daisy’s breath because he made her feel ten years younger, when life was just sitting under the trees in the sprawling lawns with pets sitting beside and listening to favorite songs. David got up to go and said good bye , did not look in the eye, he dashed away and did not look back. Daisy stood there agape brought to senses by her son calling her, Mommy!

                                                                   

                                                                     Dejection




As I saunter on the road of life in the scorching heat of realities, my weary soul looks for long  shadows of illusions to rest. But my abortive effort makes me step on the dry, yellow leaves
producing rustling sound, my heart aches and yearns for those desires which like these leaves have fallen down on the road of dejection, crushed by the heavy foot of time.